Epiphany

The last 10 hours have been a journey by themselves.  I watched Couples Therapy on VH1 last night by accident.  The tv was on but on mute as I was talking on the phone.  I needed a distraction from all the emotions that the call revealed so I turned to the tv.  I watched and saw a man who I am familiar with.  DMX.  I got real connected with Earl back in the day because his music resonated with me in a way I didn't understand. I read his book and it took me to familiar places.  I read it on one day and immediately put it away as I had learned to do with every feeling I am ill equipped to handle.  As the relationship that I blog about falls apart around me, I stopped to think a little bit.  HE and I spoke on the phone last night.  First time really since I sent that text "We have nothing to talk about.  I am done"

The purpose of the call was selfish.  I STILL had to find a way to make sure he understood why I did and said all that I did and that I was right and he was wrong.  In the nicest way possible.  But what I learned in the phone call that lasted about an hour and ended as painfully as I'm sure it felt to him to read the words "I'm done" by text message is that I wasn't right.  I figured that out and expressed that to him during the call.  But what happened after that phone call as it all registered through my mind...was remarkable to me.  

You will have to read this from the bottom to the top.  This is my twitter page and the tweets that I had to share this morning as I uncovered more of my truth.  I reference the recent Tupac resurrection through technology as well as the clip I linked above about couples therapy.  You'll need to know these things for this thought process to make sense.  I tried to enlarge it as best I could but with my limited abilities this is all I could do.